omg-relatable:

Click here for more relatable!

arpakassomomma:

captawesomesauce:

What do I do when I’m sick? I google “cat beards” on google images and here were some of the best. 

omfg

att:

No Text is worth Dying For. It Can Wait.

Please join us, Verizon, Sprint, T-Mobile US, Inc. and more than 200 other organizations to stop texting while driving. Encourage everyone in your community to join the movement and take the pledge today to never text and drive at www.itcanwait.com. 

If my jokes offend you:

1. I’m sorry
2. It won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You’re a pussy

funnyorwtf:

Meanwhile, in Minnesota.

parisjemm:

a relationship is like a house

if a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.

unless that house is a lying whore

then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.

A 7 year old boy in Virginia was suspended from school after he pointed his pencil at a fellow student and said, “bang!” Even worse, he pointed at another student and said, “would not bang.”